Everyone has either said it, or heard it. Unfortunately, families in crisis probably won't utilize those offers. They DO need you. But they don't want to be a burden, don't want to impose, or simply just can't think in the moment what they DO need.
Practice has shown that choosing a specific task and DOING it for your family member, friend or member of your community will greatly ease burdens when it's just all they can do to get through the day.
There are numerous free "care calendars" available that allow concentrated organization of tasks when family and friends want to help but are not sure how or what to do: run errands, bring them a meal, care for their children, give rides to appointments, wash their laundry, clean their house, mow their lawn, and much more. Using a care calendar lets friends and family sign up for what they can do, when they are able to do it.
Lotsa Helping Hands is just one organizer that is easy to use, FREE, and the community you create is private. You can input as little or a much information as is needed for the situation
"Just let me know if you need anything..."
"What can I do to help..."
"I'm here if you need me... "
The following are some ideas and links for things that can be done by and for grieving families in the aftermath of miscarriage, stillbirth, or infancy and child loss:
We all have a story, an experience. Similarities may exist from one story to the next, but every story is unique because every child that we have lost is unique. Writing can be a way to bond, a way to move forward, a way to find solace. Knowing that others have been in the place you are now, that they can relate, can bring a measure of comfort. If you are in a place where you would like to share – whether you are a Mom, Dad, sibling, extended family member, or friend – then feel free to Share Your Story here. You can submit any original content, including poetry, first person narratives of your experiences, or short stories.
Please ensure that content does not infringe copyright or intellectual property laws. Also, please keep content 1000 words or less. Because this platform is meant to be a safe space to share, we cannot accept stories that include negative comments about specific individuals, organizations or groups, including healthcare professionals, and non-profit, private or public healthcare organizations. Thank you for your understanding in this matter.
To guide families through the difficulties surrounding child loss, SANDS UK (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society) has created a series of free information booklets on a variety of subjects. Gardens of Grace is currently working to get these books adapted to Nova Scotia health standards. While we work on that objective, here are links to the PDF files provided by SANDS. The information provided may be useful to you both now, and later. Please keep in mind, however, that some things referenced in these publications may not be applicable to Nova Scotian health, employment or legal standards.
Australia's Carly Marie Dudly has been a tireless advocate for families worldwide since the loss of her son Christian hours after his birth. She originated Bereaved Mother's Day, which takes place the Sunday before traditional Mother's Day, as well as Bereaved Father's Day, which occurs in September(the Sunday before Australia's Father's Day). With her artwork, Carly Marie has helped over 18,500 parents celebrate and honor their children on Christian's Beach between 2008 and 2014.